Lately I’ve been seeing tons of facebook and twitter statuses with girls ranting and raving about ” what they deserve ” so I figured I should set the record straight and help yall understand a thing or 2. In order to “Deserve” something you have to be worthy and be providing something as well. You want a “good man” but what makes you so special to deserve one? What makes you think you so different than all the rest of these girls around here? Oh cuz you thick? pretty face? NEWSFLASH it’s a million of yall. lol. Girls kill me with this running around barking out demands and requirements. Its’s not even logical to have expectations, standards, and requirements for others that you cant even meet your damn self. Realistically the ratio of women to men comes into play with this also. Women outnumber men on every single scene except the sports bar probably. Therefore WE are the catch. you understand that? WE.US.MEN. You have to work twice as hard to get and keep a man because there is twice as many females to compete with…And the LAST way to get a man is nagging,barking, and whining about what you deserve and blah blah blah. All these demands.. whats the supply? Seems as though the world we live in women expect to be catered to and pampered in every form and think the ultimate reward for a man in return is a piece of ass. You got to bring more to the table than sex. It’s 2011 sweetheart. Gas Prices are through the roof, I’m not just coming to “see you” less im bout to SEE YOU. lol. that’s for one. And for 2, after thats done, then what? After a while that pretty face of yours gets tired of being looked at, and a prettier face will surface. It’s Supply & Demand, not Demand & Supply. Marinate on that ladies. Stefan Urquelle signing out.
Archive for the ‘Wifey 101’ Category
Alright yall, after a wide variety of opinions I decided to write about this. So here it is…
A fellow facebooker asked ” why cant I make new friends? are you telling me since I have a boyfriend, I shouldnt make any friends unless they are female?” and ended the question with “that there is ridiculous”. LOL. My answer to your question is HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO YOU CANT HAVE NO FRIENDS!!! Can anybody tell me the neccessity of making new “friends” while you are already in a relationship? Because I’ve been trying to find one for the longest and I cant seem to! I mean let’s keep it real, All you women want to be chased, sweated, & assured of your beauty by new men. It’s a fact. thats why yall get all barbie dolled up to go to the club knowin DAMN WELL you aint bout to DANCE or TALK to any of the dudes you KNOW are gonna holla at yall. I get it.. I get it…. its a “ego thing”. I aint mad atcha, but if you need more attention then what your man is providing then its a problem.Now let’s talk about the fellas thats becoming these “friends”. Where are you meeting them? Correct me if I’m wrong but didnt he just holla at you? And didnt you just tell him you have a boyfriend? And wasnt his response “Well can i be your friend?” And you fell for that?!!!! SMH. SHAME.
Lemmie break dis down, first of all he never wanted to be your man, he never cared if you had a boyfriend or not, his mission was to be your friend, with the benefits of whatever you are offering whether it be sex or money. LOL. Now your homies who you been cool with and were around before the relationship your companion has no choice but to respect them. But these NEW FRIENDS, uh uh.. they cause trust issues. See what happens is you get caught up in the comfort of conversation and hanging out. We all know the best part of meeting anyone is the getting to know them stages because thats when the conversation is most entertaining. Also with these “friends” there is no arguing & really no strings attached. I get it.. its easier, and its alot more stress free. Just trust me when I tell you this, the new friends are no good, they have hidden agendas, and lets face it 90% of us niggas aint shit and aint gon ever be shit. And even though he pretends as if he cares about your relationship, he’s just waiting for all of the loop holes. Oh and guess what? You will give him all of the loop holes when yall are getting to know each other.. you know the part where yall talk about relationships..and you either complain about your man or praise him.. he will do likewise about a “girl” so he wont look like the single guy preying on another dude’s man.
If he’s “just a friend” then he can holl aat you via aim,twitter,facebook,email,yahoo messenger,msn, myspace,bbm or any other network hell its a million of em out there these days lol. All the hanging out..lets do lunch, lets go to starbucks..lets go get smoothies, lets catch a movie crap should not take place.All this does is lead to attachments that are no good if you “love your man”. everybody always says I think I know it all, but i guarantee you if you do otherwise of what I say you will be somewhere like damn dat boy on facebook was right LOL.
Moral of the story is.. No New Friends ladies. It only leads to cheating & destroying any trust that us men BARELY give yall in the first place.And ANOTHER thing, Social Drinking leads to Social sexing. lol. Sorry..i dont make the rules. I understand we are young so our relationships will be full of mishaps from both genders, but ladies.. no new friends please
RT @sexijamaicanjan RT @TG8S Flirting can be dangerous. But so much fun.
This was a tweet I read from 2 girls on twitter that probably had a whole more bunch of people Retweet and agree.. and led me to wonder wtf is wrong with girls these days. Flirting leads to hurting…less you’re single. Now me knowing that women are never satisfied..it finally hit me, women want it all. They want everything. Reality is, you cant have everything. You can only have what you are willing to give up. Nothing comes without sacrifice in this world. In order to want everything of one thing..you have to be willing to give up everything on the back end. All the single girls complain about how they dont have a man, and the ones with a man secretly wish they were single or able to have there man and still prance around like they are single. The other day on twitter i asked ” What is the definition of flirting? ” here are a few of the answers I got ..
@GlammCrissMIA RT @imDMAC: What’s the definition of Flirting<---enticing another
@moneyyoung RT @imDMAC: What's the definition of Flirting ~ shoning lmao
Marquita Latrice - EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN DEFINTION OF FLIRTING...
WHAT I MIGHT CONSIDER CHEATIN ANOTHER MIGHT NOT..
Tiesha B. Chanel - Showing interest in someone and playful ways
Charlie F Miller - Something that a woman will do that she does not approve of her current partner of doing
Kimberly Carter - When u figure it out let me know, lol
After these answers I decided to do a lil research myself.. And wikipedia answered every question inside the question of flirting..
"Flirt" redirects here. For other uses, see Flirt (disambiguation).
"Would you take offense if I had the gall to plant a kiss on this beautiful shoulder?"
"You'll figure that out soon enough after the deed."Flirting is a common form of social interaction whereby one person obliquely indicates a romantic or sexual interest towards another. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated (encouraged) with intentions of getting to know that person on a higher level.
Flirting may involve speaking and acting in a way that suggests greater intimacy than is generally considered appropriate to the relationship (or to the amount of time the two people have known each other), without actually saying or doing anything that breaches any serious social norms. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used.
While some of the subconscious signs are universal across cultures, flirting etiquette varies significantly across cultures which can lead to misunderstandings. There are differences in how closely people should stand (proxemics), how long to hold eye contact, and so forth.
People flirt for a number of reasons. It is often used as a means of indicating interest and gauging the other person's interest in a relationship. Alternatively, it may simply be a prelude to casual sex. In other situations, it may be done simply for amusement, with no intention of developing any further relationship. This type of flirting sometimes faces disapproval from others, either because it can be misinterpreted as more serious, or it may be viewed as "cheating" if the person is already in a romantic relationship with someone else.
Origin and history
The origin of the word flirt is obscure. The Oxford English Dictionary (first edition) associates it with such onomatopoeic words as flit and flick, emphasizing a lack of seriousness; on the other hand, it has been attributed to the old French conter fleurette, which means "to (try to) seduce" by the dropping of flower petals, that is, "to speak sweet nothings". While old-fashioned, this expression is still used in French, often mockingly, but the English gallicism to flirt has made its way and has now become an anglicism.
During World War II, anthropologist Margaret Mead was working in Britain for the British Ministry of Information and later for the U.S. Office of War Information, delivering speeches and writing articles to help the American soldiers better understand the British civilians, and vice versa. She observed in the flirtations between the American soldiers and British women a pattern of misunderstandings regarding who is supposed to take which initiative. She wrote of the Americans, "The boy learns to make advances and rely upon the girl to repulse them whenever they are inappropriate to the state of feeling between the pair", as contrasted to the British, where "the girl is reared to depend upon a slight barrier of chilliness... which the boys learn to respect, and for the rest to rely upon the men to approach or advance, as warranted by the situation." This resulted, for example, in British women interpreting an American soldier's gregariousness as something more intimate or serious than he had intended.
Communications theorist Paul Watzlawick used this situation, where "both American soldiers and British girls accused one another of being sexually brash", as an example of differences in "punctuation" in interpersonal communications. He wrote that courtship in both cultures used approximately 30 steps from "first eye contact to the ultimate consummation", but that the sequence of the steps was different. For example, kissing might be an early step in the American pattern but a relatively intimate act in the English pattern.
Japanese courtesans had another form of flirting, emphasizing non-verbal relationships by hiding the lips and showing the eyes, as depicted in much Shunga art, the most popular print media at the time, until the late 1800s.
The fan was extensively used as a means of communication and therefore a way of flirting from the sixteenth century onwards in some European societies, especially England and Spain. A whole sign language was developed with the use of the fan, and even etiquette books and magazines were published. Charles Francis Badini created the Original Fanology or Ladies' Conversation Fan which was published by William Cock in London in 1797. The use of the fan was not limited to women, as men also carried fans and learned how to convey messages with them. For instance, placing the fan near your heart meant "I love you", while opening a fan wide meant "Wait for me".
In Spain, where the use of fans (called "abanicos") is still very popular today, ladies used them to communicate with suitors or prospective suitors without their family or chaperon finding out. This use was highly popular during the 19th and early 20th centuries.
Flirting varies a great deal from culture to culture. For example, for many western cultures one very common flirting strategy includes eye contact. In these cultures, it is said that a look can say a million words. However, eye contact can have a very different meaning in some Asian countries. Men however may stare at Western women in such countries who might get in trouble if returning the glance. This act may mean that she is sexually interested instead of just flirting. Furthermore, Chinese and Japanese women are not expected to initiate eye contact which would be considered rude and disrespectful.
The distance between two people is also important when flirting. People from the "contact cultures" such Mediterranean or Latin American may feel comfortable with closer distances whereas a British or Northern European person will need more space. Touching, especially of the hand or arm, is also part of flirting. However, for Muslims, physical contact between men and women, except husband and wife or close family, is totally forbidden.
A study in body languageFlirting may consist of stylized gestures, language, body language, postures, and physiologic signs which act as cues to another person. Among these, at least in Western society, are:
Eye contact, batting eyelashes, staring, winking, etc.
"Protean" signals, such as touching one's hair
Giggling, or laughing encouragingly at any slight hint of intimacy in the other's behavior
Casual touches; such as a woman gently touching a man's arm during conversation
Sending notes, poems, or small gifts
Flattery (regarding beauty, sexual attractiveness)
Online chat, texting and other one-on-one and direct messaging services while hinting affection.
Footsie, a form of flirtation in which people use their feet to play with each others' feet. This generally takes place under a table or in bed while rubbing feet. Participants often remove their shoes and play barefoot; however, it can also be played in socks, or wearing shoes. Though this method can backfire, as the general opinion of feet can depend on the culture and society of the area.
Staging of "chance" encounters
Imitating of behaviors, e.g. taking a drink when the other person takes a drink, changing posture as the other does, etc.
Coyness, affectedly shy or modest, marked by cute, coquettish, or artful playfulness, e.g. pickup lines.
Giving flying Kisses.
Singing love songs in presence of the Girl/Boy.
Maintaining very short distance during casual talking.
The effectiveness of these several interactions has been subjected to detailed analysis by behavioral psychologists, and advice on their use is available from dating coaches.
LISTEN LADIES. I BEG OF YOU, COOK!!!! You are not gonna keep a man bringin home this gotdamn Publix premade chicken every night givin a nigga the runs! This goes for my mama as well. Mama I know you read my posts.. I love you, but its got to stop. You and every woman in the world seem to have made this publix chicken yall’s best friend, its time to get Patti Labelle’s cookbook, and do a little sweating in that stove steam!!!!
Until next time.. - Stefan Urquelle
Yes Yes D-Mac aka Alex Hitchens is here to give my relationship tips for the week. I usually seperate em and let my Stefan Urquelle side talk to the ladies and let my Hitch side holla at the fellas but today I decided to merge em both. I had a talk with my cousin the other day and we were discussing how the unfaithful creature they call women lol. He said something to me that I really found interesting.. ” You are more likely to cheat on someone you’ve been with for 2 years or more than someone you just started a relationship with” . In a sense I agree to this statement. He backed up his statement with saying how once the newness is gone girls (and guys) are looking for something new and exciting. I can agree to an extent because I’ve been a victim of this situation before. So to prevent this from occuring in you’re relationship this is what I advise.. FRIENDLY COMPETITION.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be said..but it must be done. If you are competiting to outdo one another you both will be ultimately happy. Try to outdo his last date that you enjoyed. Or her last gift. Make your surprise better than the one he gave you. This keeps the ” spicyness (as yall call it) going and the new guy doesn’t get a chance to exist and the backdoor stays LOCKED LOL. Now you can take my advice, or you can sit there and let him spoil you and you do nothing. When you get sent to that voicemail you already know what time it is.. he’s with the girl that messed around and took HIM on a date. till next time.. 1!
Yes yes yes!!!!!! It is the return of FOOTBALL!!! Ladies..dont panic .. I can help you in this time of your cry for attention lol. I’m gonna give you 10 Do’s And DO NOT’S as the football season kicks off this weekend…take heed and take notes. this is how to keep your man until February.
1. DO – Play interested even if you’re not. When he’s not at home watch sportscenter or NFL network and get the news on his favorite team. When his team is playing.. repeat all the things the analyst said as if it is your opinion. He will say to himself ” Hm, didnt know she cared”
2. DO NOT – DO NOT DO NOT TRY TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT YOUR “GIRL THINGS” while the games are on!!! Realize and understand he waited all week for these games and the last thing he wants is you chewing his damn ear off breaking his concentration while he’s trying to watch the game.
3. DO – Cook for him.. show him you care that he is a sports fanatic. If he likes to have his homies over to watch the games with him.. every 3 weeks or so make some wings and fries.. even beat him to buying him his favorite alcoholic beverage if you got to.
4. DO NOT – DO NOT ever…ever ever ever ever ever ever (say that as fast as possible lol) try to make him choose between plans you made and the big game about to come on. Be fair. We take this type of thing to the heart.
5. DO – Suggest yall go out somewhere on a date during the game.. that includes the game.. Example – ALEHOUSE, ESPN ZONE, Or any sports bar. This way he’s taking you out on a dinner date and he still gets to watch the game. this right here is a win win for yall. Sports and quality time.
6. DO NOT – DO NOT make comments like “Go watch your stupid game” This is the quickest way to never watch the movie you wanna go see next friday when it comes out. lol.
7. DO – Watch whatever is the game of the week with him and go for the opposite team he’s rooting for. Place a bet on the game. Whether its a date to a certain place, a gift, or a sexual favor LOL but im dead forreal.
8. DO NOT – DO NOT pick the time the game is on to ” ASK FOR A FAVOR ” . When the ball is kicked off, we dont want to run errands. Get it? Got it? Good! the best thing for you to do is save all your errand running for when the games start. Yes, Errand running, not sidepiece visiting -_-
9. DO – Go to the mall during the game and buy him something sports related. Like his favorite team on a cup, or a hat. This is a plus.
10. DO NOT DO NOT take these Wifey 101 tips for granted and DO everything I told you NOT TO DO.
Keep your man ladies. Or the girl who listens to this will. By the way GO GIANTS!!!!
How You KEEP a MAN…
Here are 3 books you need to read twice if you plan on having a man and being in a healthy and happy relationship. The first book will mentally and spiritually prepare you for a serious relationship. Like I stated in the first entry, you girls wanna be wifey but are not even ready to be. This book can help you with that. The 2nd book is really for both of you, because no relationship can last without GOD FIRST Reading this book can help you become a better girlfriend and potential wife. The 3rd book should be speak volumes LOL. If you think you’re gonna keep your man satisfied and faithful with that pretty smile of your good luck LOL!!!! Get all 3 of these books or get the book that suits whatever your current state is and thank me later.
– Stefan Urquelle
The biggest “no-no” for a woman to do is attempt to force anything on a man. All this does is cause him to rebel. The problem with you women today is you dont let things flow. You try to force a man to give you a title that you have to earn. The thing that baffles me is 99.9% of the women in the world are not even ready for the position that they try to force men to put them in. Face it, you’re not in love..you’re in love with the thought of being in love. You’re ready to girl talk about “your man”, post pictures online, and show off your new dude to your ex boyfriend that you’re not over lol. You’re NOT ready to give up flirting, entertaining guys, and getting attention from more than one man. So today’s Wifey 101 advice is to A.) Keep it real with yourself and B.) Dont force the issue on a man. C.) Wait till the title is GIVEN. Wouldn’t it mean more anyway? Forcing the issue and getting the title knowing damn well you are not ready always ends up with you cheating on the dude. Now the dude cheated on ends up never giving another girl a chance, doing girls how he was done, and he ends up with the label “Dog”. see how that works?